phosphenes-stardust:

As the year closes, I want to make this post in memory of G. No, he’s not dead. I want to make this post because a huge part of my year was spent talking to him. Talking about him. Being sad about him. Being happy because of something he said or did. You get the point. 

I have no idea what it is about you I just can’t let go of. I tried. Many times. And when I was finally proud of myself because I actually took action and DID something, not just say I’m moving on, you didn’t let me. Just like all the other times I tried.

I don’t know what to do with you. God knows I tried. You didn’t. You’re too scared. I’m too far, I’m too young. But I’m different apparently. I know how to say no to you. You like me. I like you. Too bad that’s just how it’s going to stay. Always.

I sound bitter. Let me tell you I’m not. I’m jaded. I’m tired. Maybe a bit angry. Annoyed, for sure. But not bitter. I’m facing the reality of things. It’s been too long. Bordering three years. What I understand is that there seems to be something and we both know it, both kinda want it, both too scared to do anything and also both cannot be fucked to put in an effort. Well I wanted to try. You chickened out. I won’t waste my time for someone who won’t fight for me. 

You won’t fight for me but you won’t say goodbye. So we’re stuck. In the same place. For however long it takes for you to deem it time to quit this. Because I am ready to quit anytime. I gave up somewhere along the cold birthday greeting, a birthday you promised and kept on reassuring me you’d go to. Fuck you because I should’ve had the time of my life but I didn’t even if it was grand and everyone I loved was there but I felt incomplete because you weren’t. 

You’ve hurt me. You don’t even realize it. But I don’t want to tell you. I will not give you the satisfaction. I’m not mad at you. After all I knew how you were. I know how you deal with such things.

I just don’t understand how you can sweet talk her and tell her lies about loving her and giving her empty promises when you don’t even feel anything for her. Why can’t I have that? At least it’s better than your uncertainty all the fucking time. At least she’s happy. I’m not. And I deserve to be happy, damn it all.

So here’s to you and that lie you’re living. I hope you eat your heart out when I find someone who makes me happier than you ever can.

OBFOIAHOIFAHF. Damn.

(Source: briaadriana)

loveforzaynmalikid:

ohmygod

(Source: whothefuckisleonora, via wordsthatheals)

(Source: ruoloc, via tear-us-apart)

OMG I DIED

(Source: ynavillamar, via corymonteith-getinme)

(Source: undesirablyfamous, via br0kenb0ulevard)

justbesplendid:

I refuse to sink

(via tear-us-apart)